Ryan Ferguson Lyrics

Only Trying To Help (LP), 2007

REMISSION
Please take those bad thoughts far away,
And remind us all you’re not afraid.
If it comes back they’ll be hell to pay once again.
It begins with one incision,
Optimistic for remission,
Maybe I’m the one who should listen more often.
So we take a knife and cut out pieces that don’t seem right.
And it takes a life, but I’m not letting it poison mine.
I remember what you said to me.
We could slow our own recovery,
If we soak up too much sympathy for ourselves.
I’m a stranger in a foreign room,
As I try my best to comfort you.
Got my fingers crossed hoping very soon this will end.

X’s & O’s
I’ve been meaning to tell you,
that you were in another reoccurring dream of mine.
And I’ve been meaning to ask you,
have we met or are you just a figment of my mind?
The more I waste my time thinking about the words I shouldn’t write,
and knowing all too well I’ll take the bait
she’s leaving x’s and o’s by her name.
I can’t explain this attraction.
I swear to you it only happens when I close my eyes.
Never a big fan of fiction,
I think I’m converting just to serve this fantasy of mine.
No ink in my last pen. You’ve dried it out with run-on sentences.
She’s writing now with dark lipstick instead,
engraving x’s and o’s in my head.
And she’s got a red dress on in the act.
It should blend well with the bleeding.
The bandages are heart-shaped,
just like that imaginary wound I’m treating.
I’m only trying to help you understand where I’m coming from.
No one else can. So follow me until my shadow ends,
and may the sun never go down again.
Honestly, the more I waste my time
thinking about the words I shouldn’t write,
and knowing all too well I’ll take the bait
she’s leaving x’s and o’s by her name.

KILL MY CONFIDENCE
The only thing I ever cried about, I lied about … as I’m lying now.
The only words that even matter now, I’ll leave ‘em out.
This conversation’s left me little doubt that she’s sorry now.
And she’s not allowed to kill my confidence.
So tell me how your story’s out and so watered-down.
Bye, bye.
The only reason I am writing you, is reminding you that I know the truth.
You set me up just like you wanted to.
Have you figured out I’m not bulletproof?
This situation, from my point of view, is all over now.
And she’s not allowed to kill my confidence and attitude.
Eye for an eye. Tooth for a tooth.
Bye, bye.
So don’t act surprised if I decide to disappear.
And pay no attention to what I have mentioned here.
What a selfish display for a girl as humane and dear.
I should have known this was going to happen.

INTRODUCTION
Excuse my introduction, my head forgets to function
Instead, my hands start touching you as I sleep
No need for intervention, may I make one suggestion?
This doctor’s filling up the wrong prescription for me
So we’re finally getting somewhere,
I’ll pack my bags and disappear with one thing in hand,
A faded photograph of her face takes me to the safest place
Faster than I can
Why do we hide in the basement?
Pretending everyone’s safe from this master plan
I made up inside my head
How foolish do you think I am?
C’mon, let’s get with the program
Unsure of my intentions, my good friend
As my time slowly winds down,
It won’t be long before I turn out right

FUTURE RESERVATION
You tried to walk the line,
But tripped on it every time,
My eyes surveyed and scrutinized.
And you aim to compromise,
While the walls of the room kept us inside,
And destroyed our voices over time.
Ignored the warning signs,
I must have read a thousand times,
Or just an honest oversight.
But it’s getting better now, like it should
Convinced I’ve done all that I could,
And I hope there’s some more room in heaven.
Got a future reservation planned,
So nod your head if you understand.
‘Cuz I hope there’s some more room in heaven.
Like the distance to the stars,
My happiness is much too far,
For you to reach and to disarm.
Now look how close we are,
No need to ever activate alarms,
And wait for a delayed response.

THE IMPOSTER
So this account is overdrawn again?
Or have I forgotten to put something back in?
No time to think about my own reaction,
You’re playing with my head.
And what’s the point of this security?
I’ve fallen victim to another man’s scheme.
“It’s nothing personal,” you’re trying to tell me.
Shedding all my skin as the guilty party wins,
It’s after midnight.
You’ve been identified,
Half asleep you sent me on my way again.
And I’ve wrestled with my principles,
Everyone’s persuading me to turn you in.
A violation of my privacy,
Never imagined this would happen to me.
So have I failed to live anonymously?
Blending in we mask the targets on our backs.

IN THE SEA
So come on, we’ve got to make it out to the ocean,
Where the sun will be setting down.
And we’ll dive into the deep, cuz the better and better I feel in the sea.
So come on, the water’s getting high.
And hold on, as we swell with the rising tide.
And we’ll drift into the night, surrounded by threatening skies in the sea.
And the fog is rolling in, just like you said the night this all began.
As we feel the darkness all around
When we talk, there’s nothing coming out of our mouths.
So come on, it’s time we settle down in the ocean,
near the bottom to be found.
And we’ll live so peacefully, cuz the better and better I feel in the sea.

BETTER OFF
I’m better off now that my back is turned and I can’t see a thing,
So go ahead and do what’s necessary, I’ll be waiting in the wings,
And I assume if you should ever be compelled to smell the flowers
That I have planted all myself – it took me hours,
You’re better off with your head down staring at the ground
Feeling sorry for your self.
So do what you want.
And you should know I would never call you out, or be a stranger.
So tell me, what is this about? I’m sensing anger.
What are you so scared of?
Open up your heart, ‘cuz we’re only trying to help.
You’re better off with your head up higher.
Better stop feeling sorry for yourself.
So do what you want.
You’re safe again if you wander back.

NOT ON MY WATCH
So what the hell do we know?
Our response is much too slow and questions linger still
Everybody’s waiting for you to come back laughing
After fucking with us all
Should I have been easier on you?
After you suffered more than anyone
Never did I under-estimate you, I never did once
I wish there was a reason for taking one from me
Boy, you put up one good fight
Everybody’s praying
You’re somewhere up there sailing over us tonight
I never did once, not on my watch

MUST BE FRIDAY NIGHT
Everything’s keeping me down
Can’t see what’s up there, I’m facing the ground
And I don't feel sorry for me
It’s what I prefer at the end of the week
I’m alone in my room, so it must be Friday night
A cigarette’s burning my hand
There’s ink on my face and a drink on the nightstand
The clocks are all flashing on 12:00
Deep in discussion with only myself
I’m alone in my room, so it must be Friday night
Oh, let it rain, let it fall
Let it drown me in pools of you
So I can finally sleep

AND I WORRY
I’ve been getting fed up.
Oh, so sick of this big fake smile.
When they say, “You with your juvenile noise,
time to grow up, you’re in denial.”
If I was starving for fame, to get my name in big bright lights,
I’d go charter a small plane and fall out of the sky.
And you’ve been licking your red lips so long waiting just for this.
My hands have been keeping my mouth shut
from everything spilling out.
Despite all the shame I’ve already caused,
get ready for more. I’m numb to the pain that rattles my bones.
Yeah, I have felt this before.
And I worry that you’re on to me.
I’m your prey, your own casualty.
It’s funny how fate saves us in ways so unpredictable.
And in the end, you will never get back what you put in.
Despite all the shame I’ve already caused,
get ready for war.
I’m numb to the pain that rattles my bones.
Yeah, I have felt this before.

Three, Four (EP), 2005

SUDDENLY
Suddenly, I just found myself waiting for the phone to ring
And I‘m hiding out simply ‘cuz it’s scaring me
Not relying on the people that I ought to be
Another month or two of everybody testing me
And it’s time.
So much to do, I’ll be lucky just to open up this parachute
As we’re falling closer I’ll be holding onto you
Wake me up when it is over if I get through
And all the things to you I promised will be coming soon
And it’s time.
I’m tired of writing on the back of these postcards
Describing everything that you’ve missed so far
I’m kicking this bad habit on my own
I’m not surprised, that it’s never obvious to all the other guys
When I’m with you I’m invisible, it’s my disguise
Everybody get behind me, you can form a line
Just hope you’re comfortable standing there your whole life.

WINDSHIELD
Any way, I can help you through the day
I for one, know the sun, so I’ll tell him to stay out
This letter grade, you got an ”A”, congratulate yourself kid
Would I have known that today’s your birthday?
I’ve been sitting here all day thinking that today’s your worst day
We’ll celebrate and stay up late, and watch our favorite TV show
Would you know, it was cancelled yesterday
We’ll get that guy, who threw that rock into my windshield
I can only ask why he wouldn’t give a shit about how he thinks I’d feel
And no one can describe, as patient as I am, how bad I want this deal
So we’ll get that guy who threw that rock into my windshield
Yesterday all across the state, on the news they showed your face
And your name, your hiding place, and I’m afraid it’s too late
By the way, at the bottom of the page
On the line, I signed your name and your whole life away

WAIT FOR ME THERE
I don’t mind if you sit beside me in everything we do
To some, it’s nothing new
Would you wait for me there - You said you would so
Would you wait for me there - I thought that I could
In a way it’s official, nothing’s really changing at all
But they’ll miss her, of course they will
If you recall what I asked you in summertime
And if you don’t know it already, I’ve got something in mind.

ON ELVIRA STREET
What an awful start to this New Year for us all
We’re picking up the pieces of our hearts that broke apart
So here’s to all your courage and your strength for fighting hard
For everybody loves you, you’re the namesake in our hearts
And it’s gonna be fine over time
Memories of climbing trees on Elvira Street
Sinking our feet into the sand at Redondo Beach
And though our one & only is gone
We need you to keep carrying on
Cause you’re the one we look up to
I won’t stop praying for you
And it’s gonna be fine over time